Today was a day full of emotions for me. 11 months ago I started my journey for a new me. It hasn't come without sacrifices though and tonight I was reminded of that. Over the past 11 months I have lost a total of 50 lbs. Today at my weight watchers meeting I was (and still am) over the moon excitement but tonight I've also realized that this has come with a pretty large price.

I have this amazing little boy that I love more than I thought I could ever love anything and today he broke and melted at the same time my heart. When we got home for the evening it was Jakub's bedtime and I put him to bed and he promptly started screaming. I asked him my usual question what was his favorite part of today and he threw mousy across the room, I told him goodnight and if he didn't want to talk then we would just call it a night and walked out the door. He started screaming that he loves me, I came back and told him I love him too and he burst into tears. I said whats the matter little man and he says I want to sleep with you, I said sleeping with us is a once and a while treat not an every day treat and he responds with but I miss your face then continues on to tell me that he hates that I have to work and he misses me all the time and we don't get to spend enough time together and asked if I could please take tomorrow off work. I had to explain that I have responsibilities and I can't take the day off tomorrow and of course he got upset all over again. I told him I'll take off another Tuesday to just spend the day with him and he said no you won't, you never never never do and I reassured him that I will as soon as I can on a nice day and I'll put aside the chores and just spend the day listening to him and doing what he wants to do with no agenda of my own. It's days like this that makes me realize what a tough job it is to balance, work, family and chores.  It also makes me re-evaluate some of my actions from before like do I spend too much time away from him trying to squeeze in a work out. I know that I need to do this for me and ultimately it will benefit him too but it's so hard to find the right balance. That little boy means the world too me and it just kills me to see him so upset. It also makes me realize that being a mother is the toughest job that a woman can have but so worth it in the end.

On a brighter note, over the weekend we took Jakub on our first family hike. It was interesting to say the least, we stopped at the fist Y in the path t o figure out which way the trail we were following goes and Jakub says "look mommy a nake" I quickly looked down and jumped "oh yes, you're right, that is a snake, lets go!!!" I grabbed his hand and we hurried along. We ended up walking 4.2 miles, I only carried him about 2 miles of the hike but we got to the end of the hike little man burst into tear and said Mommy, I'm not a hiker, I'm no good at it. I told him he did great (which he did) and left him know how far we walked, I can't say he felt better but we took him for a special treat later for being such a trooper. I'm hoping more family hikes are in the future because I'm training to do the Dam Half in September. I am so excited for this upcoming challenge.

A lot more has been going on that I'll fill you in later on...

Long Time No Post

I have a lot of catching up to do! I guess I should start with November since I last posted in October! November came in with a huge surprise, I was sick, then Shanon was sick and then he needed surgery! I had bronchitis the week before and Shanon thought he had a touch of the bug so he didn’t think much of it. Saturday morning came and he said he was going to run to the hardware store to pick up a water filter for the fridge, he comes in minutes later shaking like a leaf. Now Shanon cries wolf a lot but this seemed different so I started taking his temperature, it was 99.7 then over the next half hour or so it was up to 103.5. I immediately called the doctor and the doctor said she could see us at 11:30 so I hurried and threw on clothes (big mistake) and we headed to the doctors office. The doctor felt Shanon had appendicitis and sent us to the hospital immediately. Once we got there they ran tests and the first doctor said I don’t think you have it but we’ll run tests anyway. Well his white blood cell count was high so they figured they better do a CT scan a little while later (okay hours later, it’s the hospital who am I kidding) Shanon was given the results that he needed to have surgery. He was taken up to the OR around 7:30 then in the hall we found out an emergency came in so they took Shanon back down to the ER and we had to wait until around 9 to have the surgery done. It was around 12:30 AM when they finally gave me word he was okay and I was allowed to go see him.

Of course nothing is easy, he ended up having complications. He was in a ton of pain so we went back to the family doctor on Monday, he was released Sunday and the family doc seemed to think he had an infection so she sent us back to the ER where they basically said it’s a normal part of healing. Thankfully Friday he had a follow up with the surgeon where we were informed he had blood collecting at the incision so he had to squeeze that out and then we went back several days later where they inserted a drainage tube. He is now is pretty good shape again.


Christmas and Birthdays

Christmas and the Birthdays were pretty low key which was nice. My birthday (for those who don’t know, is December 20th so I ended up working a partial morning then called it a day at noon to spend the rest of the day with Jakub. After Shanon was done working we headed to my favorite, Bennihana for dinner, it sure hit the spot!!

Christmas was quiet as well, we opened gifts at home then headed over to my mother in laws for more presents and a relaxing day.

Jakub’s birthday was a blast! He turned 4 this year and we headed to Philadelphia to see Jakub’s aunt and uncle. We took him ice skating then headed to PF Changs (his and my favorite) for lunch! Afterwards we went back to their house and he opened some presents then we had cake before heading home.



Project

I get Michaels e-mails weekely (although I think they come more often then that) so this time I actually paid attention to it. I noticed that they are now selling a product called Smashbooks. The idea behid the books are they can be messy, you see something in a magazine you like attach it type thing. Well that’s when I thought I have a Zutter Bind it all machine and I can make my own version so that’s what I’m going to do!! I wish I would have thought about doing this a few years sooner but this book is going to focus on Jakub’s 4th year so I can attach art work he brings home from school, pictures from soccer, theater stubs (we saw Clifford the Big Red Dog last weekend) etc, you get the point. I was terrible about keeping up with his baby book so I’m excited to work on this project then at the end of the year I will bind it. I’m going to make this as simple as possible meaning put pages together as the year progresses otherwise I’m afraid to say I’ll never work on this project. I’ll post pages once I get some done. It’s still January and so I have his birthday and soccer to cover.



Other Happenings

I went to my cousins baby shower two weeks ago and my grandma (Dad’s Mom) was in the in hospital, she had many different issues and things weren’t looking good for a while, they ended up sending her home last Friday with hospice so we’ll see how she ends up doing as time goes on.

Last night I got a text from my mom that my Grandpa (Mom’s Dad) fell and got the news at 1 this morning that he broke the ball of the top of his bone in his hip. I’m really worried because of his age, he will be 98 in March that this isn’t a good sign. I’ll keep you all posted.



I guess that is enough for one post, I apologize for the book!